Hidden Within Kindness
by FabiaOkamiVentus
Summary: Robert E. O. Speedwagon had feelings for his dear friend, Jonathan Joestar, feelings he had to hide for the rest of his life. Also available in


Originally, the plan was to teach him a lesson, but Jonathan Joestar had a noble heart that Robert E. O. Speedwagon had never seen in his life before that. That nobility struck him as amazing to him at first, but as he accompanied Jonathan in his battle against Dio, that first-glance awe turned into something stranger. Something that had Speedwagon scratch his forehead a lot while Jonathan was recovering from his injuries that burning down the Joestar mansion left him. It wasn't until he first caught a glimpse of Jonathan and Erina Pendleton together that it clicked in a way that sickened him: He was falling in love with Jonathan… and he was jealous of Erina because she could be by Jonathan's side as his lover, something that Speedwagon would never be able to attain.

There was no use. Good gentlemen didn't fall in love with other gentlemen, they always grew feelings for ladies and got married. Jonathan was a good gentleman, he was in love with Erina and he would marry her. Robert asked himself the same thing over and over, before the issue with Dio turned too dangerous to even have that question in the front line of his thoughts: Why couldn't he be a good gentleman like Jonathan and fallen for a lady instead? He didn't find that bright soul, that kindness that would have forgiven even Dio's life, that purity that Jonathan Joestar possessed in other ladies, in other people in general.

He came to know Erina better after Jonathan defeated Dio with the power of his Hamon and after the sacrifice that Will A. Zeppeli had to make for that victory to be possible. The jealousy that sickened him started to turn into happiness because he knew Erina was a good woman. She would never hurt Jonathan and she had as noble a heart as him. Since Erina was a lady, she couldn't get involved in the battle against Dio; matters like that were too dangerous for a lady, especially someone as good-natured as Erina.

She made Jonathan happy and he made her happy too. Their marriage was just to be expected from such a couple that were there to heal the other, that would do anything to make sure the other was fine. The tears Speedwagon shed during their wedding weren't bitter with any trace of that resentment he felt when he first saw Jonathan and Erina together, but rather they were sweet with the happiness he felt since he knew they would make each other happy. If Jonathan was happy, so would be Speedwagon. He may never be as close to Jonathan as Erina would be, but Jonathan viewed in him a friend and friends were happy if the other end of that friendship is happy. That was something Speedwagon could do.

When he heard from Erina that Jonathan Joestar died in their honeymoon, Speedwagon was devastated. He couldn't stop crying for a long time. Jonathan, a man he admired greatly, his greatest love, was dead and his body laid at the bottom of the ocean, where no one would ever find it to make a proper funeral that a gentleman like him deserved. "I wanted to die with him," Erina added after Speedwagon ran out of tears to shed with her. In her place, Speedwagon would have desired to die beside his beloved Jonathan too, he couldn't blame her. "But he insisted that I should keep living. Oh, Mr. Speedwagon, he told me to be happy!" Erina continued. "That was his dying wish… and he didn't know that I'm carrying his child yet."

What did she say? Did his ears hear right? If Erina was pregnant with Jonathan's child, that meant that there was hope for the Joestar bloodline. Jonathan's purity at heart would pass and live on. There would be no other Jonathan, that might be true, but that brightness his soul had would live on through his descendants. "I'm pretty sure that Mr. Joestar is rejoicing in Heaven because you lived and he will look over you and your child from over there." Erina offered him a melancholic smile. "Thanks, Mr. Speedwagon, your words comfort me."

Later on, it wasn't only through words that Speedwagon supported Erina. When he made the Speedwagon Foundation, he made sure the money gained and the resources he had would be of any use for the Joestar family. Jonathan's dying wish was for Erina to live on, to be happy, and, if he had known he was to become a father, he would have done everything to make sure his children were happy too. There was no better Speedwagon could honor Jonathan's memory and wishes than by doing everything he could to support them. He remained a close friend to Erina because he, better than anybody, knew that money and material resources couldn't solve everything. Money couldn't replace the shoulder of a friend when you need to cry until your eyes went dry because of grief, because of a bad day, because the world was too much to handle; money couldn't bring the comfort a friend could.

"Why don't you marry Ms. Joestar, Mr. Speedwagon?"

"Huh?"

"I mean you're close to her and you won't be able to live forever. You can…" and the young man's words became a blur Speedwagon couldn't hear through.

Even though Erina had the same light in her soul that Jonathan had, he couldn't see himself with her in something deeper than a friendship. Besides, Speedwagon felt that marrying Erina or trying something romantic with her would be disrespectful to Jonathan's memory. Even if he became interested in her, his own loyalty to his now dead friend and love would never allow him to sleep in peace if he tried anything. "I just want to respect Mr. Jonathan Joestar's memory fully," he replied.

That was what he would tell everyone. Jonathan Joestar was a great friend whose memory he deemed worth respecting fully. What he would never tell anyone is that he hid his feelings for Jonathan, his heart, within his kindness to the Joestar family, within his help and service to them, within his friendship with Erina, within everything he did in honor of Jonathan's memory. Jonathan may have died, but Speedwagon's feelings never did. Not even in his old age when Joseph Joestar, Jonathan's grandson, went on in a battle against three powerful vampires they came to know as the Pillar Men. Not even when his body started to give up after so many years of being alive.

When he closed his eyes for the last time, he felt proud of everything he did in honor of Jonathan and was ready to receive death with open arms. He only hoped God wouldn't punish him for not being a good gentleman and falling in love with another man. "Speedwagon? Is that you?! Oh, I've been waiting for you for so long!"

Speedwagon immediately recognized that voice and he opened his eyes with tears in them. "Jonathan!" he yelled as he ran with arms wide open to hug his old friend and his only love.

"I missed you too, Speedwagon. Let's go! Erina is waiting for us," Jonathan said as he hugged Speedwagon back. They walked one alongside the other, Speedwagon telling Jonathan everything about George II and Joseph and how proud he was for them, telling him about everything he accomplished and everything he was proud of. The only thing he decided to keep for himself was one simple phrase charged with a lot of feelings that he could never utter in life and he didn't want it to disturb his death: _I love you_.


End file.
